Thursday, April 23, 2009

A dream shattered...

when i entered the 11th grade,i was in a fix....i had to select a career path for myself.
While choosing a stream(i.e. science,comm or arts) was not an option,I had to choose between engg and medical.And engg it was(the reason being that the coaching institute for engg entrance exams was nearer to my place..).

In India,when people think of engineering,the first name that comes into their minds is "IIT".And I was no exception.So I started preparing for the IIT-JEE with some vigour.I joined FIITJEE,a 2-yr course.
I did pretty badly in the classes early on and that did shatter my confidence(accrued from years of academic success in school).But with grit and determination,I slowly clawed my way up and by the end of the first year,was among the top 5.
After that I intensified efforts and the 12th grade goes down in my history as the year of dedication and hardwork.
I studied for 2 hours every single day and as november approached,was in a great state of preparedness.
In november started the all india test series of FIITJEE.I fared quite well in the initial ones.But as time rolled on,I found the going quite tough.Slowly but surely,I realised that Mathematics was my achilles' heel.So in january mid,I started focussing on the subject with a renewed vigour.
As the d-day neared,tension grew.Although I was confident about my preparation,there was this instinctive feeling that my performance would not be upto mark.

Anyways,the date was 9th april,2006.My centre was bhubaneshwar(that’s where my maternal grandparents live).

The format of the paper was as follows:

8am-10am: physics

12pm-2pm: maths

4pm-6-pm: chemistry

After a sluggish start,I managed the physics paper quite well.The paper I feared the most was maths.But surprisingly, I did fairly well in it too(could have done much better).The 2 hr break then was used up by me in consuming chicken biryani at my nana’s place.I was quite happy with my performance up till then.Moreover,chemistry was a subject I was very confident about.

I went in.Literally.”ghus gaya as they say in hindi.The paper was full of inorganic(not expected off iitjee).

But I still had some hope.

The next few weeks were full of turbulence for me.Then the results came out.


You have not qualified.

I was shattered.My dream of getting into the top engg college of India had broken.

It had far reaching effects on me and my psyche.The impact is still there.Not that I cry about my failure.Meet me and you’ll know what I mean.It’ not that am really sad about it till now.But my internalizing of the grave disappointment has had its effects.

Even then am a normal person.Not a psycho…lol

My other results:

AIEEE: AIR 11240

BITSAT: 310 marks(was not eligible coz of my pcm marks which were below 80%)

iitjee score and cutoffs(source:TOI)

Maths:50 cutoff:37

Physics:84 cutoff:48

Chemistry:54 cutoff:55…damn

CONCLUSION:I missed iit by a mark…..that is elating!!!!!


  1. nice one.....I had a faint idea of all these things....and kept trying to find out the scratches of this accident on you.......I would be more interested in more elaboration on the after-effects......

  2. though i know this yet u have put it in an interesting way

  3. hey buddy..nice one yaar...v all knw u missd d bus fr iit dnt wrry u wont dis time wd CAT fst approaching..chal all d bst fo CAT09...

  4. hi...nice article nishant...vry well written...all d bst 4 ur cat...